Okay, this post is most definitely NOT for the feint of heart! This is a little story that Doug has been dreading for a LOOOOONG time! Here we go. . .
For those of you who don't know me very well, there are three particular things that I do NOT care much for. One of those is mornings, one of them is Mondays, and the other is feet. Last week, after 2 luxurious weeks of sleeping in and being able to pretend that the day actually starts at 8-ish NOT 5-ish, Christmas break came to a very sad end. I was up and getting ready. After I get ready, I get my kids up and going. Frequently I ask Doug to make breakfast. On this "particular" Monday morning (two yuckies in one!) Doug got up and went into the kitchen. He came back into the bathroom a few minutes later as I was drying my hair and announced, "I can't make breakfast today, there are no clean dishes." To which I replied, "The dishwasher is clean." His reply: "No, I mean the big pan for oatmeal is dirty."
ARE YOU KIDDING ME??????? Me, TRYING (unsuccessfully, I might add,) to not be overly snippy, said, "Then I'll wash it!" Apparently that idea had not crossed his mind. "Oh, it's okay, I'll wash it." By this time, it's getting so late in the morning that I knew it would never be done in time. Needless to say, my children had school breakfast and I started that Monday as a Grumpy Gretta!
Well, I made it through the morning and was even able to restore my attitude to my "usual" happy self. :) I got home at lunchtime, took the dog for our walk, got my lunch, and went in to straighten the house. One can only imagine my HORROR when I walked into the living room and saw this:
OH NO HE DIDN'T!!!!!!
Yes, he did! He clipped his toenails before he went to bed Sunday night and "forgot" to throw the nasty evidence away. I called him and he had the audacity to laugh in between my dry heaves!
He CLAIMED he was sound asleep during the whole breakfast fiasco and I now understood why. If you have to spend HOURS clipping the nearly foot-long claws off your toes, you would be tired, too. Might I just add that chocolate, flowers, bubble baths, taking the kids out so I can sleep in, etc., are just the beginning of his penance. I will let you know if and when he is able to make this one up to me!
I will say that he has been AWESOME about making breakfast in the mornings lately AND when I warm my feet up on his legs at night, I no longer have to avoid the deadly weapons at the end of his toes! :)
I do love you, honey! Thanks for giving me such great ammunition to hang over your head for awhile!!!!!! Oh, who am I kidding? This one's sticking around FOREVER!
13 comments:
Since I once...or twice....lived with you I could practically hear your voice as I read this and laughed, laughed, laughed. Poor ol' Doug.
Seriously, poor ol' Doug??!! I was the one dry heaving! ;)
Ew. That is all I have to say. I cannot deal with ANYTHING that was at one time or another attached to and/or contained inside of anyone that is left in a random pile. I try (unsuccessfully) to employ a strict clip over the garbage can rule.
Oh Doug. Bless him.
Super funny. My husband grows claws on his toes too. I am constantly begging him to cut them, but if left them out like that, boy would he be in the dog house. Sorry Doug, it is how life goes.
Oh Doug...nas-ty!!! I've started clipping all nails over the sink and then we wash them away. It might be bad for the pipes but we rent - so who cares??
That is so funny! I am so with you on mornings! i hate them so much! I love waking up at 8. It hurt so bad to wake up after Christmas!
This is Doug and just as an update, I DID take the kids yesterday and let Alicia sleep. I HAVE made dinner for three straight nights. I BOUGHT donuts for Honey mama today on the way home. If there is anything else that you might suggest, I am always up for suggestions..
And PS.... Jen, that was in no way worse than your schwanoma thingie!!! At least mine wasn't all bloody and everything.
Love ya all!!!
Did I leave the schwanoma on the coffee table? No. :)
AMEN, SISTER!!!!! Nor would you if you could have!
I was laughing while reading your blog post then I was dying laughing reading the comments. Especially Dougs. I'm lucky Brandon is way good about getting rid of the evidence of clippings before any one sees.
Also, I'm NOT a morning person either! I am dreading when my kids start school so I will have to wake up earlier. Not that the little ones don't wake up plenty early now anyway.
So I have to know what is "schwanoma thingie"???
The shwanoma was a type of tumor. My sister developed a tumor on her lung a couple of years ago. It was benign, thank goodness. But it was HUGE--the size of a cantaloupe. She had it on her blog and for almost a year it was the only thing you would see when you went to her blog. NASTY! :)
But we still love you Jenny!!!!!! ;-)
oh wow, thanks for clearing that up for me. I'm glad it was benign and she is all right.
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